


Natalia: Lethal Innocence

by outta_the_woods



Category: Black Widow (Movie 2020), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Abortion, Assassination, Assassination Attempt(s), Assault, Child Abuse, Child Neglect, Childbirth, Childhood Friends, Childhood Trauma, Discussion of Abortion, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Gun Violence, Implied/Referenced Abortion, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Military Training, Murder-Suicide, Natasha Romanov Feels, Natasha Romanov Needs a Hug, Past Child Abuse, Past Sexual Abuse, Pregnancy, Protective Natasha Romanov, Red Room (Marvel), Self-Doubt, Self-Harm, Sexual Abuse, Sexual Violence, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, Teen Pregnancy, Training Camp, USSR, Unplanned Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-21
Updated: 2021-03-17
Packaged: 2021-03-18 13:41:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,372
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29610276
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/outta_the_woods/pseuds/outta_the_woods
Summary: Little Natalia Romanov is orphaned when her home in Stalingrad is bombed. She is rescued by a man who calls himself Ivan. Innocently, Natalia places her trust in Ivan, only to have it broken when Ivan takes her to an awful place called The Red Room where she is chained, beaten, starved, and trained to become a lethal assassin.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Natasha Romanov, Steve Rogers/Natasha Romanov
Comments: 8
Kudos: 31





	1. Prologue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Little Natalia Romanov is orphaned when her home in Stalingrad is bombed. She is rescued by a man who calls himself Ivan. Innocently, Natalia places her trust in Ivan, only to have it broken when Ivan takes her to an awful place called The Red Room where she is chained, beaten, starved, and trained to become a lethal assassin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! It is i! I have returned from who knows where :) I hope you all are doing well and it would please me very much to hear from all of you lovely peeps! Please enjoy my new story!

Natalia is 8

A tiny pale-faced girl stood among the smoking ruins of what had once been her home. She gripped a worn-out stuffed bunny to her chest, her dark, shiny red hair whipping about her face in the cruel, cold wind. “M-Mama,” she whispered between broken sobs. Beside her, on the still-steaming ground, lay her mother, lifeless. The little girl bent down, placing her bare, knobby knees on the gravel, and gently stroked her mother’s face. “Pozhaluysta, prosnis', mama.” But, her mother did not reply and the little girl watched as the last of the life blood drained from her mother’s face. 

“Natalia Alianova Romanov is my name and I am brave, strong, and fearless,” the girl whispered to herself as she wandered the bomb-ruined streets of Stalingrad. Survivors, faces pale and haggard, hurried by, paying no attention to the orphaned child. Natalia looked down at her bunny’s worn face and, despite her sorrow, smiled, seeing the crookedly stitched mouth. “Pietr, you are my only tovarishch left.” And Pietr smiled back while Natalia stroked his long, fluffy ears. 

Pietr and Natalia wandered around for hours. Everywhere they went, they saw destruction and death. Natalia covered Pietr’s eyes so he would not have to see the charred and broken bodies lying amongst the rubble of what had once been magnificent buildings. They walked and walked and soon they came to the river Volga and Natalia sat on the soft bank to take a rest. 

In the pale moonlight, the waters of the Volga shimmered and shone and a mist rose from the surface of the river, giving it an almost magical aura. Natalia gazed at the waters, so peaceful and calm compared to the chaos of the ruined city at her back. She remembered happy times, of skating in the winter with her mama and papa and her brother, Vidi, of fishing for ‘valuables’ as Vidi called it, which actually just meant trudging in the muddy bank and digging through the dirt in hopes of finding treasure. Now, in just a matter of seconds, the people she had shared those happy memories with were gone. Natalia suddenly felt very alone. 

She wondered what she would do and where she would go. She remembered her papa telling of an aunt that lived in a small town a few hours away from Stalingrad but she didn’t remember exactly what the name of the village was. Then, she remembered her mama’s friend, Mrs. Alexandra, the wife of the baker and how Mrs. Alexandra was always nice to her and gave her lollies. But an image of the burning bakery and Mrs. Alexandra’s body stretched out on the pavement stopped her thoughts. Everyone she knew was gone. She was really and truly alone-with the exception of Pietr. 

“Little girl, are you alright?” A deep male voice said, startling Natalia from her thoughts. 

Natalia looked behind her and saw a tall man with a scruffy beard standing on the bank just a few feet away from her. The man’s face was streaked with soot and blood. He wore dark clothing that was torn and singed from the savage flames. 

“Little girl, are you alright?” the man repeated and he stepped closer. 

Natalia gripped Pietr tightly and nodded mutely. 

“Don’t worry, sweetheart, I am not going to hurt you.” The man knelt down next to Natalia and placed a hand on her shoulder. “Where are your parents? Where is your home?” He took a rag from his pocket and gently wiped the dirt from Natalia’s face. 

“My mama and papa and Vidi are dead,” Natalia whispered, flinching at the man’s touch. “All I have is Pietr.” She gestured to her beloved rabbit. “Our home is gone too. It burned up.” 

“My name is Ivan,” the man said. “I am here to help you. I will take you somewhere where you will be safe. It’s not safe for a little girl and her rabbit to be out here all alone.” He stood up and held out a hand to her, his blue eyes twinkling. 

Natalia bit her lip and looked at the man’s outstretched hand. He seemed very kind and his smile was a lot like her papa’s. She was cold, hungry, and tired. She would very much like a safe place to eat and sleep. She looked at Pietr and saw that he felt the same, so she placed her hand in Ivan’s and let him help her to his feet.  
“Poor little girl, you have probably walked a long while.” Ivan picked up Natalia and held her in his strong, secure arms. He started walking along the bank, towards the big bridge that connected Stalingrad to the land on the other side of the river. “What is your name, child?” Ivan asked. 

Natalia shivered and clutched Pietr close. Mama had told her never to share her name with strangers but her mama was dead and Natalia didn’t have anyone so she decided it would be alright to tell Ivan her name. After all Ivan had told her his name. “My name is Natalia,” she whispered. “And my rabbit is Pietr.” She picked up Pietr’s paw and waved it at Ivan. 

“A pleasure to meet you, Natalia, and Pietr, of course,” Ivan said with a big smile. 

Natalia felt her eyes getting heavy with sleep. Although it was so cold that she could see her breath, she felt warm and safe in Ivan’s arms. Hugging Pietr close, she laid her head on Ivan’s chest and closed her eyes. I will only close my eyes for a little bit, she told herself. 

A little bit turned out to be a long while. 

**********************************

Natalia awoke suddenly. 

She was still cold, still hungry, and very tired. 

She was in a dark room, lit by a single candle in the corner.

Around her small wrists were rusty metal chains. 

Pietr was nowhere in sight. 

Natalia was very afraid. 

“Help! Help!” she cried, yanking furiously at the chains. 

"Stop struggling, little rabbit. You will only hurt yourself." Ivan's voice rang from the darkness. 

Natalia gasped in fear as Ivan stepped into the light. His formerly sparkling and friendly blue eyes were cold and full of hatred and greed. He knelt beside Natalia and grabbed her chin with his hand, forcing her to look at him. "P-please don't hurt me, Ivan. I thought you were my friend," Natalia whispered, her voice trembling. She was so confused and so hurt. Why had Ivan chained her up? Why was he being so rough with her? 

Ivan sneered and let go of Natalia's chin. "Didn't your mama and papa ever teach you not to trust strangers?" He laughed-a grating sound that sent shivers down Natalia's spine. She scooted away from him but her chains did not allow her to go more than two feet. Ivan only crept closer, his blue eyes fixated on Natalia's face. "You are caught in my trap, little rabbit. You will never escape. This place is your home now. You will be trained to be a deadly weapon-Russia's deadly weapon. You will be tested and if you do not pass, you will die. This is your life now, little rabbit." 

At these words, Natalia burst into frantic tears. "No, please, I don't want this! Ivan please, I want to go back to the city... I want Pietr back!" 

Ivan roughly slapped her across the cheek, causing Natalia to gasp in pain. "Stop your crying. There is no crying allowed here. You are tough-not a crybaby. Now, eat." Ivan produced a chunk of moldy bread from his shirt pocket and shoved it into Natalia's hands. “Eat it up. If you don’t, I will hit you again.” 

Natalia, hands shaking, brought the bread to her mouth and ate as quickly as she could. The bread tasted disgusting but she forced it down. Afterwards, she felt like she had to vomit. Ivan rapped her harshly on the head. “If you throw up, I will do worse than hit you. I do not want to have to clean up after you,” he said. 

Forcing herself to ignore her nausea, Natalia wrapped her arms about her body and gazed at Ivan with fearful, teary eyes. 

“Don’t be scared, little rabbit,” Ivan said in a much gentler voice. “We will take care of you. We will make you into something. You will be the next Black Widow. Don’t let me down, little rabbit.” He stood and left the room, leaving Natalia alone in the cold. 

Natalia closed her eyes and cried silently.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Leave a comment and a kudo!


	2. The Tiger Within

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> trigger warning: death

Natalia is 11  
Natalia lat on the rough, wooden cot, waiting for the guards to come unlock the chains that held her down. Beside her, on another cot, lay Annika, the girl Natalia considered her friend-not that they’re supposed to have friends in this place. Annika’s blond hair was strewn over the rough pillow beneath her head. Natalia could see tears shining in her friend’s eyes. 

“Hey, stop crying,” Natalia whispered, lifting a hand and causing her chains to rattle. “I hear the guards are coming. They’ll beat you if they see your tears.” She longed to reach out and hold her friend, but her bonds prevented her from doing so. “I know you’re scared but it’ll be alright.” Natalia bit her lip. She hated lying to her friend but what else could she say? 

The guards came into the room and went to each cot, unlocking the girls’ chains. “Get up! Get dressed! Quickly! Quickly!” they say. When they unlocked Annika and Natalia, Natalia hurried over to her friend and helped the younger girl get dressed in a loose shirt and sweatpants. Annika’s shoulders shook with silent sobs and Natalia made sure she shielded her from the guards’ view. 

“Get moving!” one guard shouted, shoving Natalia roughly. 

“Alright alright,” Natalia grumbled, taking Annika’s hand and getting into line with the other girls for the washroom. Madame Pavlov stood at the head of the line, guiding each girl into the washroom when it was their turn. Madame Pavlov’s blond hair was a mess and there were deep, purple bags beneath her pretty blue eyes. Madame Pavlov had not spoken a word since Natalia had met her. Natalia wondered if she was mute. Despite being silent as a mouse, Madame Pavlov was kind, in subtle ways, giving the girls pats and hugs when the guards weren’t looking. 

When it was Annika’s turn, Natalia turned to Madame Pavlov. “Please Madame, let me go in with her,” she pleaded in a husky voice. Madame Pavlov glanced nervously at the guards and then nodded. “Thank you so much, Madame.” 

Natalia helped Annika wash up and then the two girls headed to the mess. It was bread and cabbage-again. Mrs. Shostakova slapped a slice of stale bread and a few pitiful leaves of cabbage on Natalia and Annika’s plates then waved them on, ignoring the girls’ looks of disgust. The two girls settled down at one of the worn tables and ate their meal, knowing that if they did not complete all of it, they would be punished. 

The door to the mess swung open and Ivan strode in, followed by a few of his henchmen. Natalia’s stomach broiled with bitterness when she saw him. He noticed her glaring at him and smirked in her direction. Natalia bit her tongue hard, hands clenched into tight fists. Annika noticed her friend’s struggle and placed a small hand on Natalia’s thigh. 

“Listen up, girls!” Ivan announced, standing at the head of the room. “YA vyberu iz vas dvuh devushek, chtoby oni srazilis'! (I will pick two girls among you to fight)” He scanned the room with his glittering blue eyes, searching the faces of the frightened girls, whose fate lay in his filthy hands. His gaze rested on Natalia. “Natalia! You will fight.” He then gestured to a slender girl with dirty blond hair. “Anya, you will fight Natalia. Both girls report to the Yard within five minutes. The rest of you, I expect you to be there as well! Am I understood?” 

“Da ser!” (yes sir) the girls shouted. 

Natalia gripped the edge of the table until her knuckles turned white. She had always witnessed these fights before, never actually fought. There were two outcomes: death, or life. The fittest would survive and had to kill the weaker one, the one who had lost. Suddenly, Natalia felt very scared. Her stomach felt as if it were twisted into a billion knots and her throat was dry with fear. She exchanged terrified looks with Anya. They both knew the outcome. Natalia would win. Anya was too weak, too sick. Natalia forced herself to look away from Anya’s tearful brown eyes and pushed her chair away from the table. 

“Natalia,” Annika whispered, grasping her friend’s hand. 

“I have to go, Annika,” Natalia replied coldly, jerking from Annika’s grasp. She rolled her shoulders back and lifted her chin, striding towards the door that led to the Yard. 

Out in the Yard, Ivan and his henchmen were waiting. Ivan smiled when he saw Natalia and walked over to her. “Prove yourself to me, little rabbit,” he whispered in a low voice, grabbing her arm and squeezing so hard it made Natalia gasp in pain. “Prove to me that you are a tiger.” 

“Da ser,” Natalia murmured . 

Ivan smiled and let go of Natalia’s arm. “Now, prepare yourself.” He walked away to talk with Anya. 

The other girls were crowded around the edges of the Yard, huddled together and muttering quietly amongst themselves. Ignoring their gazes, Natalia prepared herself. She tied her flaming red hair back in a loose ponytail and rolled up the sleeves of her plain, gray shirt. Prove yourself, little rabbit…. Prove yourself. Ivan’s words rang over and over in her head. Natalia gritted her teeth. “Get out of my head,” she muttered furiously. 

“Alright! Take your stances, girls!” Ivan shouted, blowing his whistle. 

Natalia took up her position across from Anya. She dug her bare feet into the dirt and clenched her fists, her knuckles white. Anya took up her position with a little less enthusiasm. She looked so pitiful and weak, standing there, the wind whipping her dirty blond hair about her face. Her body looked so fragile; she was like a skeleton. Natalia looked into her eyes and saw death. 

“Begin!” Ivan shouted. 

Natalia hesitated. 

Anya burst into tears. “Please, Nat, you have to,” she whispered. 

Natalia felt her eyes stinging with fresh tears. 

“What are you doing, Natalia? I told you to begin!” Ivan cuffed Natalia sharply on the head. “Do not let me down, little rabbit. Don’t you dare let me down! Begin at once!” 

“I hate you, I hate you with every part of me,” Natalia whispered, tears streaming down her face. 

“Please Nat,” Anya begged. 

Natalia closed her eyes and lunged forward. She grasped Anya’s arm and flipped her over. Anya fell to the ground, gasping for breath. “I’m so sorry,” Natalia breathed, unable to bear her guilt. Anya only stared up at her, waiting for the next blow. Natalia grabbed Anya around the neck, digging her fingers into Anya’s trachea. 

“Fight back!” Ivan ordered Anya and she raised her arms in a pitiful attempt to defend herself. “Fight, you stupid dog! Fight!” Ivan shouted and one of his men stepped forward with a whip. He harshly struck Anya, causing the girl to shriek in agony. Desperately, Anya grasped Natalia’s hands and tried to pry them off her neck, but she was too weak. The man struck her again and Anya’s body shuddered, becoming limp in Natalia’s grip. 

“Kill her!” Ivan ordered. “Kill the dog!” 

“I can’t! I can’t! Please don’t make me, Ivan! Please!” Natalia cried, letting go of Anya. Anya slumped to the ground. “Please Ivan! I cannot kill her!” 

Ivan, his face etched with fury, strode over to her and grabbed her chin harshly. “You will do as I say, little rabbit, and you will do it now!” He slapped her once, then twice, and three times. She saw stars and was barely recovering when Ivan slapped her again. “Kill her!” Ivan bellowed. He drew his knife from his belt and placed the tip on Natalia’s cheek, dragging downwards. Natalia suppressed sobs as she felt warm blood trickle down her face. “Do it, little rabbit,” Ivan said in a much calmer voice. 

“Do it, Nat,” Anya called weakly. “Please…” 

With a howl of utter sorrow and anger, Natalia grabbed Ivan’s knife and plunged it into Anya’s chest. She stumbled back in shock, watching as Anya gasped and struggled for breath. Blood blossomed from the stab wound on her chest, spilling out upon the sand of the Yard. Natalia collapsed to her knees, sobbing, her thin body trembling. With a wrathful cry of pain, Natalia flung the bloodied knife away from her and crawled over to Anya’s body. Anya had stopped breathing. Her body went limp. “I’m so sorry… I’m so sorry,” Natalia whispered over and over again, stroking Anya’s cold, gray face. 

Strong arms grabbed Natalia and lifted her to her feet. She weakly fought them but was no match. Ivan appeared in front of her, smiling. “My little rabbit is on her way to becoming my tiger.” He smirked and pinched her cheek in a playful way. “Take her to the dorm and chain her up. I will follow soon.” 

The guards dragged Natalia to the dorm. She hung limp in their grasp, feeling totally dead inside. She was finally becoming what Ivan wanted her to be: a cold-blooded, ruthless killer. She looked down at her hands and saw that she had Anya’s blood on her. Disgusted, she retched, throwing up that morning’s breakfast. I have to be what they want me to be or I will not survive, she thought. From now on, I will kill and not think twice about it. She clenched her jaw and straightened in the guards’ grip. I will be your tiger, Ivan, and one day, I will turn on you.


	3. Taken

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> trigger warning: rape

Natalia is 15

Natalia lined up her sights with the target in front of her. The target was moving, making it a difficult shot, but Natalia never missed. She flipped off the safety and squinted right at the heart of the target. The target kept wriggling, writhing, and making grating, grunting noises. Natalia placed her finger on the trigger. 

Bang!

The gun went off and the target fell to the floor in a puddle of crimson blood. 

Natalia slammed the safety back on her gun and turned to face her instructor, Madame B. Madame B had an expression of satisfaction and approval on her face. “Very good Natalia. You are a superior shot.” She placed a hand on the young trainee’s shoulder and bored her with a serious, brown gaze. “You have come so far Natalia. You do not hesitate to kill. You are our best recruit. You are making us proud. Keep up the good work.” She patted Natalia’s shoulder then turned to the next girl in line. 

Natalia picked up her gear and headed for the locker and wash rooms to freshen up before her next class, which was espionage studies. She entered the locker/wash rooms and found Annika scrubbing the stained, tile floor. “Annika? What happened?” she asked, concerned, noticing her friend’s tear-stained face. “Did you get in trouble?” 

“Ivan caught me eating extra scraps from the mess. I have to skip all meals and clean today,” Annika replied softly. “How did shooting practice go?” 

Natalia knelt by her friend and put an arm around her. Annika drew back, looking nervous. “Nat, you can’t do that! They have cameras everywhere! They will see and they will punish you. I don’t want that to happen to you.” She slid out of Natalia’s hug and began fiercely attacking the floor with her sponge. 

With a sigh, Natalia stood up and brushed some sweaty strands of deep red hair out of her faee. “Well, they can’t hear us. The cameras don’t have mics. I’ll bring you food tonight, Annika. Don’t worry. Even if Madame Pavlov searches me, she won’t tell.” She opened her locker and stuffed her gear in, taking a moment to stare at herself in the piece of broken glass she had taped to the inside of the locker to serve as a mirror. The scar where Ivan had cut her with his knife, was still clearly visible. She touched it tenderly as memories of that awful day came flooding back. 

“Don’t blame yourself, Nat,” Annika’s quiet voice broke through her thought. “It was Ivan who made you do it.” 

“Yes, and one day…” Natalia broke off mid-sentence and slammed her locker shut. “I have to get to espionage class. See you later, Annika. Stay out of sight, please, and don’t get on Ivan’s bad side.” She shrugged her book back over her thin shoulders and excited the rooms. 

Espionage class was one of Natalia’s favorites. She loved learning about all the spy tactics and how to execute them properly. Mr. Turgenev, the class’s instructor, was a stern man who had no pity for the plights of the dozens of girls he instructed. Natalia was his best student and although he tried not to let it show, he had a small bit of affection and admiration for her. As the best student in the class, Natalia sat near the front. Her desk sat right beside a window and on hot days, Mr. Turgenev would allow her to open it to allow fresh air to come in. 

“Alright girls,” Mr. Turgenev said after all the students were settled, “It is time to begin. You have all handed in your homework. Natalia, you have done exceptional work. Please come up here and read to the class your essay on disguise tactics in foreign countries.” Mr. Turgenev nodded at Natalia and took his seat at his desk. 

Natalia strode confidently to the head of the classroom and began to read, her voice ringing loud and clear in the small room. As she was reading, she noticed, out of the corner of her eye, Madame Pavlov, taking a seat on a bench near the door. Madame Pavlov nodded at Natalia and gestured to her that she should meet her after class. Almost imperceptibly, Natalia gave a nod of affirmation and continued to read. 

After class, Madame Pavlov grasped Natalia’s arm and pulled her into a nearby broom closet. “Natalia, please, you must not say anything of this. Please, give this to Annika.” She pressed a small, dried flower into Natalia’s palm. “Also, I have snitched some food from the mess. Bring it to her as well. Make sure she eats it all.” Madame Pavlov handed Natalia a napkin filled with bits of bread and chicken. “Now go, child. Hurry before the guards miss you.” 

Natalia stuffed the napkin and flower in her shirt. “Thank you, Madame,” she whispered and slipped from the room. 

Dinner that night was stale bread and cabbage-again. Natalia ate quickly, so that she would have time before bed to work on her homework. However, when her books and pencils were out and laid before her, ready for her to work on them, Natalia could not focus. Rarely did she think back to the days when she actually had a family but when she did, her heart ached so badly she felt as if she would burst into tears. A tiger does not cry, Ivan often said. Forget your past. This is your future now. But no matter what Ivan said and no matter what Natalia told herself, she could not forget her past. 

“What are you thinking about, my little rabbit?” Ivan said, startling Natalia from her thoughts. 

Natalia immediately rose to her feet and saluted Ivan. “Nothing, sir. I was focusing on my homework.” 

Ivan reached out and gently stroked Natalia’s cheek. His touch made her want to gag with disgust. “Ah my pretty little rabbit, always working so hard.” His hand moved from her cheek to her lips and lingered on them for a moment. “You are almost too beautiful for this world, my little rabbit. Has anyone told you how gorgeous you are?” He leaned forward, his lips dangerously close to Natalia’s. 

Natalia’s heart pounded with fear and she felt her throat grow dry. Unable to speak, she took a few steps back. “Sir… I have to focus. I have to get this done,” she said, gesturing weakly to her pile of books. 

“Oh but you always have time for me, little rabbit, don’t you?” Ivan moved closer, pressing his body against Natalia’s and running his hands down her chest in an inappropriate manner. Natalia gasped in shock and recoiled but Ivan pulled her closer. “My pretty little red-haired rabbit,” Ivan murmured, touching Natalia’s hips and then her thighs. His lips brushed her cheek and then settled on her lips. 

“No!” Natalia gasped and pushed Ivan away from her. “I don’t want this!” She huddled against the cold stone wall, feeling so violated and dirty. The horror she felt was indescribable. She started to weep. She could see the other girls in the mess room, watching the scene with wide eyes, too frightened to do anything to help their comrade.

Ivan’s blue eyes were stormy with anger. “You little rabbit! You will pay for that!” He grabbed Natalia’s wrists and pinned her roughly against the wall. Natalia’s head violently slammed against the stones and she saw stars. Ivan, however, did not give her a second to recover. Letting go of one of Natalia’s wrists, he fiddled with his belt and Natalia realized in horror what was about to happen. 

“Please! Please no!” she sobbed wretchedly, twisting this way and that, trying to free herself from the maniac’s grip. “Stop it Ivan! Please stop it!” 

But Ivan did not stop. 

When he was done, he threw Natalia to the floor like a piece of trash and walked away, whistling.

Natalia, in great pain, staggered to her feet and gathered her books, limping towards the dorms. She moved like a zombie-empty and void of feelings. Her blood was smeared on her clothes and her skin. She ignored the stares and worried whispers of the other girls. She had become exactly what Ivan wanted her to be-a submissive slave. He had already taken so much from her and now this? She cried, not because of the pain but because of what she had lost. I am not human. I am not even an animal. I am less than that, she thought as she washed the blood from her face and hands in the washroom. 

Ivan wanted her to be a mindless machine. For years, Natalia had fought him but now? She had no will left in her. What was there left to live for? She would become his chained dog, his fighting creature. What else could she be? He had taken everything from her. Natalia gazed at her pale face in the mirror, looking into those green eyes that were once so full of hope and life. You are mine, little rabbit, Ivan’s voice rang in her head. For once, she didn’t try to fight him. 

When the guards chained her to her cot that night, Natalia did not resist. She let them lock the cruel metal chains around her delicate wrists. When they turned off the lights and left, locking the door behind them, Natalia finally allowed herself to cry. Her sobs were quiet but every girl in the dorm heard and every girl cried with her. 

Everything had been taken from them


	4. The Winter Soldier

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Winter Soldier makes his appearance...

When Natalia awoke the next morning to the guards unlocking her chains, she saw Ivan standing above her, smirking. “Good morning, my little rabbit,” he said, gently laying a few fingers on her lips. Natalia laid still, allowing him to touch her, not caring anymore what he did to her. Ivan looked slightly disappointed that he had gained no reaction from her. He grabbed her shoulder and shook her harshly. “Wake up, little rabbit! Where is that fire I so love to see in you, my gorgeous, red-haired rabbit?” 

Natalia slowly pulled herself to a sitting position, her entire body aching. “Go away, Ivan. I have to get ready for classes,” she mumbled, climbing off her cot. Without a hint of embarrassment, she removed her nightgown and pulled on the plain sweatpants and shirt that was her uniform. Ivan watched her the entire time, licking his lips like a hungry dog. Bunching up her nightgown, Natalia tossed it into a nearby laundry bin and quickly made up her bed. “Excuse me,” she said, trying to scoot around Ivan so that she could get to the washrooms. 

“Just wait a minute, little rabbit,” Ivan said, grabbing her arm. He pulled her close and pressed a harsh kiss to her lips. “My gorgeous little rabbit,” he murmured, wrapping his hands around her tiny waist. Natalia, still barely awake, weakly turned her head away from Ivan, trying to avoid his crushing kisses. “No no no, Natalia. You are mine, darling. Mine. Don’t turn your pretty head away from me.” 

Just then, Madame B. entered the room. Her steely gray eyes settled on Natalia and Ivan. Ivan immediately let go of Natalia and shoved her away from him. She stumbled back into Annika’s arms. With a salute to Madame B, Ivan strode from the room, pausing at the doorway to leer at Natalia. Rolling her eyes, Madame B proceeded to weave through the rows of cots. “Girls, graduation day is coming up in exactly one month. You are all ready. If you pass, you will join hundreds of other young women who have made names for themselves as powerful, lethal assassins. If you fail…” Madame B. broke off, letting her sentence hang unfinished. 

If you fail, you die. 

Madame B. left the room, leaving the girls to prepare themselves for another long day of training. Natalia turned to Annika and gave her a quick hug. The smaller girl hugged her back. “Ivan is an awful man, Nat. I heard what he did to you,” Annika whispered. 

“I should have seen it coming,” Natalia replied softly as she ran a brush through her greasy red hair. “When I was smaller, he would touch me in places that I knew weren’t right. He would call me pet names and say I was ‘his’. I suppose I should have realized it would only be a matter of years before he would take me.” She handed the brush to Annika and began to braid her hair. 

“Have you heard of the man with the metal arm?” Annika whispered.

Natalia looked up. “A man with a metal arm?” 

“Shh!!! It was only a rumor but last night, I saw him. He was tall, with long dark hair and piercing dark eyes and he had a metal arm!” Annika replied softly. “I heard Madame B. call him the ‘Winter Soldier’. He is here to train us in the last few weeks before graduation. They say he has killed hundreds… They also say he was an American soldier, back during the second world war. Oh no!” Annika immediately turned her back on Natalia when Madame Pavlov entered the room. 

“Girls, hurry up! You are to meet in the Yard in ten minutes,” the Madame announced wearily. 

In a mad scramble, the girls hurried to dress and prepare themselves. In a matter of moments, they were lined up in two neat rows. Natalia gripped Annika’s hand. “Today is not a sparring day, is it? I’ve forgotten… the days seem rather hazy,” she whispered to her friend. 

“No, not that I know of, Nat,” Annika replied softly. 

Madame Pavlov opened the door and ushered the girls into the dimly lit hall. Madame B. and a few of her attendants were awaiting the girls. “Today, girls, one girl from amongst you lot has been chosen to train with our most valued trainer-the Winter Soldier.” From the shadows, a man stepped into the light. The girls stumbled back, terrified by his appearance. 

He was tall, dressed in a black suit, with long, dark hair that shaded his ruggedly handsome face. His eyes were dark brown and steely. The most compelling feature of him was his metal arm-a gleaming, silver limb that functioned just like a real human arm. He gazed at the girls with no emotion written on his scarred face. 

“Natalia,” Madame B. said and Natalia tore her gaze away from the mysterious man to the madame. “You have been chosen to train with the Winter Soldier. You will both meet in the gym in five minutes sharp. The rest of you, you are dismissed for breakfast. Eat quickly!” With that, Madame B. whirled around and walked away, her high heels clicking on the cement floor. 

The girls dispersed, going their separate ways, leaving Natalia and the Winter Soldier facing each other. There was a heavy silence between the two; both were waiting for the other to make the first move. Finally, Natalia spoke. “I am Natalia Alianova Romanov.” She didn’t know why she said her name… she just did. Straightening her shoulders, she extended her hand. 

The Winter Soldier looked into her emerald orbs with questioning brown eyes. Then, he slowly extended his good arm and shook Natalia’s hand. His fingers felt ice cold in Natalia’s grasp. He didn’t tell Natalia his name. He just nodded, then stepped back. “Gym,” he said in a weird, muffled sounding voice. 

Natalia tossed her red hair over her shoulder and nodded. 

When they got to the gym, there was a sort of sparring ring setup with ropes and a cushioned floor to prevent injuries. Natalia took off her shoes and stepped under the ropes into the ring. “Let’s get this over with,” she said, jogging in place to warm up. 

The Winter Soldier stepped into the ring, his dark eyes scrutinizing Natalia’s thin, gaunt body. Natalia glared back. “Are you afraid to hit a girl?” she mocked, winking at him. The Winter Soldier pursed his lips in frustration but made no move to punch her. With a sigh, Natalia lunged forward, catching the man off guard, grabbing his arm and flipping him over onto his back. She smirked, then turned to duck out of the ring. 

Cursing in Russian, the Winter Soldier scrambled to his feet and landed a flying punch on Natalia’s cheek. The girl stumbled back, crashing into the ropes, dazed. Before she had time to recover, the man grabbed her wrists and tripped her with his legs. She went down hard. The soldier seized a fistful of Natalia’s red hair and pulled hard. “Never turn your back on your opponent,” the soldier growled in her ear. Then, he let go of her. 

Hurt, humbled and angry, Natalia staggered to her feet. Blood was running down her cheek. She wiped it away and charged the Winter Soldier. Although he was much taller and much bigger than she was, Natalia managed to latch her arms around his neck. She held with all her might as he grappled at her hands, trying to free himself. She had the upper hand-but only for a few moments. The soldier reached up, grabbed her, yanked her off of him and threw her to the ground. He grabbed her wrist and twisted her arm behind her back. Natalia let out a howl of pain. Her eyes stinging with tears, Natalia wrestled her arm free and landed a punch on the soldier’s jaw. She moved in for another hit but the man grabbed her hands. 

“That’s enough for now,” he said in a low, calm voice. “We must rest.”

They sat on one of the gym benches and took sips of water and nursed their bruises. Natalia glanced out of the corner of her eye at the Winter Soldier and saw that he was staring back at her. Embarrassed, Natalia looked away quickly, her cheeks flaming bright red. “Natalia Alianova Romanov,” the Winter Soldier said suddenly. “It is lucky you remember your name. I… I don’t remember mine.” He handed the water bottle to her and she took it warily.

“I’m sorry,” Natalia said, for she didn’t know what else to say. 

“The people here… I have seen what they’ve done to you. What they do to the other girls,” the man continued. “This is all horrible…” 

“I don’t remember anything else,” Natalia replied softly. “This has been my home for as long as I can remember. I am training to be a highly specialized weapon for our country. Madame B. says that is something to be proud of. What they do to us only serves to make us stronger. It is all part of the process.” 

“You are more than a weapon, Natalia,” the soldier said. “You are human. In this place, you are not treated like you are human… you’re treated no better than abused dogs. I myself am not considered human by the people in this place… I am their war dog.. I do their dirty work for them so they don’t stain their own hands with blood. They will make you the same, Natalia.” 

“They say we will become glorified assassins for our country. That we will save and protect our country,” Natalia refuted, feeling slightly defensive. 

The soldier looked into Natalia’s eyes and Natalia saw a deep sorrow in the man’s liquid brown orbs. “The truth is, Natalia, you-” 

He was cut off when Madame B. and Ivan strode into the gym. 

“Natalia, come with me,” Madame B. said sternly, grabbing the girl roughly by the arm. “Ivan, take the soldier back to his cell.” 

Natalia was dragged out of the room by Madame B. She looked back over her shoulder and saw Ivan putting thick handcuffs around the Winter Soldier’s wrists. The man allowed Ivan to show him and hit him. There was no hint of emotion in the soldier’s eyes. He was like a dog at his master’s disposal. 

“The truth, the truth, the truth,” rang over and over in Natalia’s head as Madame B. dragged her down the long hallway towards her office. What truth? What had the soldier planned to tell her?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed this chapter! I'm looking forward to developing Nat and Bucky's relationship. And what exactly is Bucky going to tell Natalia? What exactly is the truth about the Red Room?


End file.
